Toddlers & Tiaras with Tom Hanks

Tom Hanks is a good sport to do this rather extensive video bit for the Jimmy Kimmel Show.

By the way, that's not Tom's daughter. (He does not have a daughter - but he does have a granddaughter, so...)

I particularly like the surprising guest Dad who wins the competition at the end.

JImmy K's Exercise Program

Spring is coming.
Exploring new exercise programs.
Jimmy Kimmel is offering this video for his Hottie Body Hump Club. 
Completely in poor taste. Please do not view or click the link unless you really need to exercise more.

Blogger Includes Amazon Link To Funny Book From The Onion in Post

I always pick up a copy of the satirical newspaper, The Onion, when I see it. Unfortunately, I don't live in a hip enough area to find it very often, so I usually read the stories online.

Online is good though, because there is also Onion video news. But it's the headlines that grab my attention. That makes sense, since Onion editors start with the headlines and the stories are written to match the headline's humor.

The Onion's latest book release is Our Front Pages. It's a big book (really - more than a foot tall) with a big subtitle: "21 Years of Greatness, Virtue and Moral Rectitude" and headlines stolen from the pages of "America's Finest News Source."

Now really, - don't you want to read some of these stories?

Gay Couple To Add Exciting Big City Feel To Small Town
Vatican Employees Unable To Relax At Holiday Party With Pope Around
Field-Trip Mishap Fulfills Child's Dream To Be Oscar Meyer Wiener
Chipotle Employee Just Gave Guy In Front Of You More Rice
Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell
NPR Host Raises Voice
Factual Error Found On Internet
U.S. Vows To Defeat Whoever It Is We're At War With
New Solar System Discovered Four Feet From Earth
Hugging Up 76,000 Percent
Road-Kill Squirrel Remembered as Frantic, Indecisive
Two Dozen More Bodies Found In Lake Wobegon




Our Dumb World: The Onion's Atlas of the Planet Earth, 73rd Edition



The Onion: 2010 Calendar of the Planet Earth

Our Dumb Century: The Onion Presents 100 Years of Headlines from America's Finest News Source

Internet Archaeologist Finds Ruins of "Friendster" Civilization

An Internet archaeologist has found the ruins of a lost civilization known as "Friendster."

Check ou this video report.



Internet Archaeologists Find Ruins Of 'Friendster' Civilization

New Yorker Cartoons Animated

If you are a fan of the cartoons in The New Yorker, then you should check out the animated versions they offer online. They have been offered for a few years as video podcasts and as streamed videos.

newyorker.com/video

Here's a little study in relativity with Al Einstein.

Assicons

Everyone has seen those emoticons that indicate an emotion via a few keyboard characters.

:) for a smile and :(  is a frown, with some variations like  :-) or :-(  or that winking  ;-}

I got my first emails recently using "assicons" that represent various types of - well, asses.

I don't know that they will catch on as much as the other emoticons, but, just to keep you informed...


(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) an ass hole

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) has money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

A Gull Walks Into A Store in Jersey

A gull walks into a store - but it's not the start of a joke. It's a Jersey gull and the store is in Point Pleasant Beach, NJ. My cousin - a Shore lover - emailed it to me.

This one is into stealing Doritos from a convenience store. Walks in, checks on the manager, grabs the snack-size bag of chips and leaves.

I'm told that he (OK, it might be she, but I'm thinking it's a guy gull) rips it open and does share with his buddies.

He's become a regular. Same chips. The manager supposedly thinks it's okay because people are coming to watch and that draws customers.

'This is New Jersey, and if that seagull starts to grab a 6-pack of 'Bud' to go along with the Doritos, I may have to put a stop to it,' says the manager.

Classic Jersey shore.

Except that it actually happened in Scotland.

Yeah, I had to do a fact check (it's just in me) and Snopes says that it's another commonly passed-around urban legend. They even have some video of the real gull on their site.

I want it to be Jersey true. Can't we train some gull to do it?