We few, we happy few, we band of brothers on Saint Crispin’s Day

The stories of the lives of some of the Christian saints are very unusual Even the things thst they have become associated with as "patrons" often take some explanation. 

October 26 is St. Crispin's Day, dedicated to the patron saint of shoemakers.

Martyrdom of Crispin and Crispinian (detail) by Aert van den Bossche 

He was martyred by the Roman Emperor Maximian on this date in 287 A.D. St. Crispin and his brother, St. Crispinian, lived at Soisson in France, where they preached during the day and supported themselves by making shoes at night. 

I don't know why, but the feast day of Saints Crispin and Crispinian was removed from the Roman Catholic Church's universal liturgical calendar following the Second Vatican Council. Still, the two saints are still commemorated by some on that day.

It was on St. Crispin's Day in 1415 that English troops, commanded by King Henry V, engaged the French army near the village of Agincourt in France. Despite being outnumbered nearly six to one, the English pulled off one of the most brilliant victories in English military history. 

I only know of Crispin because I studied Shakespeare's Henry V in college. It is his most famous “war play.” Though some of it glorifies war, especially the choruses and Henry’s speeches urging his troops into battle, it also shows corruption and the human cost of war. Bishops conspire to use war to postpone a bill that would tax the church. Soldiers expect to reap profits from the conflict. 

King Henry addresses his troops on the eve of battle with a memorable speech that contains one phrase that Shakespeare came up with that has been reused frequently.

"This story shall the good man tell his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered —
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers.."

Saint Stephen

Although December 26 has a number of holidays associated with it - Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, and Wren Day - the oldest celebration for this day I found is St. Stephen’s Day.

The man who would become Saint Stephen was a Christian deacon in Jerusalem who was known for his service to the poor. He was the first Christian martyr. He was stoned to death in AD 36 for his beliefs.

In the Christmas carol “Good King Wenceslas,”

Good King Wenceslas looked out

On the feast of Stephen

When the snow lay round about

Deep and crisp and even

When I traveled to Eastern Europe, I saw many churches named for St. Stephen. In Hungary, they mark his feast day on August 20 because that was when his relics were transferred to Buda (now part of Budapest). In 1949, the communist regime there tried to transform the Christian holiday into a political Constitution Day, but since the collapse of the communist state in Hungary, it has returned to being a day for the saint.

One thread that runs through all these December 26 holidays is giving to the poor, which is not a bad thing no matter what your beliefs are about this end-of-year season. 

The Patron Saint of Murderers and Other Odd Saint Stories

A patron saint (also patroness saint, patron hallow or heavenly protector) is a saint who in Roman Catholicism, Anglicanism, Eastern Orthodoxy, or particular branches of Islam, is regarded as the heavenly advocate of a nation, place, craft, activity, class, clan, family or person.

Saint Drogo by TheoJunior, on Flickr

There are some very odd Saints in the long list of Saints. For example, Saint Drogo (I know the convention is to abbreviate "Saint" as St., but that also means "street" and I don't want to offend any saints, just in case) is the patron saint of unattractive people and somehow also of coffeehouses.

More amazing is that Drogo was said to be able to bilocate - to maintain his actual presence in two totally different places at the same time. Witnesses claimed seeing Drogo working in fields simultaneously, and going to Mass. If that is true, I'd make him a saint for being able to be "in two places at once" rather than for being unattractive due to an affliction. That disfiguring affliction turned him into a recluse. I can find no connection to coffee and actually found that Drogo only drank warm water during his years as a recluse.

Saint Giles was said to have lived as a hermit in the south of France in the later 7th century and stayed alive on the milk of a female deer. How do you milk deer? Anyway, not only is he the patron saint of the city of Edinburgh, but also the patron saint of breastfeeding.

Saint Balthasar is traditionally considered to be one of the biblical Magi (AKA The Three Wise Men or the Three Kings) who visited Jesus in the stable at his birth. As the King of Arabia, he brought the gift of myrrh. (Extra Trivia: Myrrh is a natural gum or resin extracted from a number of small, thorny tree species and used as a perfume, incense, and medicine.) At that time, Africa was frequently equated with Egypt. Some Romani sideshow merchants and entertainers were (mistakenly) thought to have come from Egypt (that is where the corruption of Egypt leads to GYPsies). Therefore, rather unfairly, this Egyptian king became the patron saint of playing card manufacturers.

One depiction of St. Julian murdering his parents
- from a larger panel of art by Ansano Ciampanti

My favorite unusual origin story is Saint Julian the Hospitaller.

Most of the Saints get tagged as "patrons" for a number of things. Julian is attached to clowns and circus workers, innkeepers, fiddle players, jugglers, childless people - and murderers. What a mishmash of things for a Saint.

How does a Saint get associated with murder? In this case, because he was a murderer. (Though the church would clarify this as a "repentant murderer.").

His story is a variation on the classical Oedipus Rex, which he apparently had not read or he didn't learn a lesson from it.

Julian was cursed (by a hart, just to make the story even weirder) that he would kill his parents. So that this would not come to be, he left home and traveled far away to live his life. He lives this distant life, acquires his own castle, and a wife.

But his parents are desperately searching for their lost son, and they finally found his castle. Julian was away on a hunt, but his wife (who I guess didn't know about the curse) welcomed her in-laws and honored them by putting them up in their master bedroom.

While his wife is at church, Julian comes home, finds the couple sleeping in his dark bedroom, assumes that it is his wife with another man, and kills both of them.

He fulfills the curse, but is obviously wracked with guilt. In order to get salvation, he (and his wife) build an inn for travelers, and a hospital for the poor and other charitable works. He was forgiven for his crime when he gave help to a leper who turned out to be a messenger from God who had been sent to test him.

He is the patron of hotel keepers, travelers, boatmen and murderers - at least the repentant ones.